Obsession v/s Phobia... And lots more!!!

| Friday, May 30, 2008 | |
Phobia! Everyone has some of this. Dormant or not! Read somewhere, being phobic ( or rather getting phobic ) is a phobia itself!

Am phobic to asymmetry! Lots! Sounds weird? Well, it is, unwind this weirdness as you read on!

Even as I am writing this, am hoping to give a touch of symmetry to this post in my own possible way. May seem crap, but I define it this way;

Symmetry is my obsession, and asymmetry- the complete phobia surrounding me!

I know its kinda 'maniacy', but hey everyone does have a passion to either hate or love or get obsessed with something. Might be dormant in you, but if you think, think and just keep thinking, it will definitely erupt in you.
Depending on what it is, it can be good or bad, harmful or just neutral. It's all on your luck and flavor.

Coming back to symmetry, it's maybe because being a student of science and maths that it's so relevant in my life. And moreover, dwelling in programming, it has made me believe that nothing ever can exist that is even more beautiful that SYMMETRY!

That's my obsession, and that's the virtual height of it!

The other day, in Belgaum ( Oh, well I really did have a nice time in Belgaum with an all-cousins meet, birthdays and lots more jungle hangouts! Pics coming soon!! ),
my cousins and myself, we were having a game of cards. I wasn't really interested in choosing my strategy for the game of cards, but i was rather thinking about the pack of cards and relating stuff...
( By the way, I won the game of cards! )

This is what all I had to think:

Life is like a game of cards. It can be as random as when the cards are shuffled or as in sequence when it's arranged! All on time and situations.
Imagine some of the cards to be some bad events and some good ones. It's always that we know there are events of varied types and we do know that they have always existed, but it's still that we have to regret over the existence or non-existence of everything. We do it quite often, don't we??
It's all about playing your cards well. You might end up with varied cards of different cadre and color which have their own significance. And sometimes, you might end up with a joker, don't be surprised! You really do need all these elements of life. You need cards like a joker, cause some of the default cards can't satisfy the momentary requirements.

Moving on, I get into more of thinking. And, I start wondering whether if at all I am a perfectionist!

I always knew I was a perfectionist. But the world just doesn't see me that way. And somewhere deep down, I knew I wasn't one of those typical types of perfectionists with a sparkling smile over their 'near-perfection' achievements!
I knew I was something else, though not too much of a deviation from the ideal.

Hence, here's a conclusion I've got after lotsa thinking.

There are two kinds of perfectionists. First ones are the types which never leave any task incomplete and are hell bent on completing everything they come across.
The second type would be who destroy or deinitialize any task they have undertaken. After all or nothing, both are perfections right??
Mind you, deinitializing does mean recoil to the initial, not letting off go or compromising with your standards or activities.

I undoubtedly belong to the second category.

Belgaum, being my native place; sometimes I have a strong belongingness to that place, and sometimes am just glad I unbelong as i call myself an 'Unknown Goan'! (Does mean that I belong a bit to everywhere, but not necessarily the same way I would think every second.)

I say know your roots. If you don't want to, or don't want to, due to the different situations and times, then make your present level your root and move on to higher grounds.
In short, progress or rather move out, if you can't move in deeper and relate to where you currently belong.

But remember one thing; don't ever forget where you belong now. It's human tendency to have a sense of belongingness somewhere or to someone. And if you are lucky, you might just have the right place or person to belong to. The world will envy you, but the nerve of 'botheration' shouldn't really be visible on your forehead. If at all it is, you end up losing your happiness.
And in a case where you don't get the better of the two worlds, make your world the best one! In any case, don't compromise with your happiness.

Happiness shouldn't really be a state of mind, but an ego to be accomplished at any cost. This way, you remain happy forever.
After all, the most important person in this world should be you! No one thinks as much about you as you think of yourself. There is nobody quite so much interested, and it is not right they should be.
each has his own admiration in himself. Think about this.

Whatever you desire or deeply form an intent for, you can have, for in the development of your interior thought-forces your desires will frame them within measurable size.
Commitment for yourself is vital. For as it touches you, you touch all points in the universe!

Your first duty is to yourself. You do not perform for the world, you perform for an audience of one- YOURSELF!!!

So long, Happy Being YOU! ( Phew, that was a long one after a long time! That's what you call piled up thoughts! )


16 Shouts!:

C R D Says:
May 30, 2008 at 6:13 PM

ur symmetry thingie is more an obsession than a phobia.

i have an obsession too. i always HAVE to Start going up or down a staircase with my left foot, and have to use my right foot on the last step. if the number of steps is odd, i skip one step in such a way that the right foot lands last.

Also, Im quite a lazy guy. But once i reluctantly start a chore I HAVE TO COMPLETE IT..I CANT STOP.

nice post :)

chk my blog

Raphael Says:
May 31, 2008 at 12:43 PM

a post after a long time. nice one!
mine is heights and creepy crawlies.

i am a bit of a gypsy, so its ok with me.

and perfection?
babe, destruction of one's work hardly helps!
u r left where u began with no movt!

Dark_Gal Says:
May 31, 2008 at 3:52 PM

@ c r d
Yeah, i know! Can't get over the symmetry thing!
And about the left foot and right foot thing... quite happens with me too...
But, not so relevant...
Anyways, thanks!

@ raphael
Well, that's what I said.. all or nothing.. both are perfect!
And yes, you don't have to think about work done when you talk about all this...

Puts me more into thinking now! :P

Anyways, thanks again!
Gonna write more!! :)

Matangi Mawley Says:
May 31, 2008 at 8:15 PM

hey.. this s the first time i m visitin u r blog..
u write very well..
keep writing!

the full blood prince Says:
June 1, 2008 at 5:40 PM

ohkk.. finally i showed the guts of reading this epic-long post. :D
but achhchha tha yaar. hwevr quite unsymmetric in composition!
obviously i dont agree with evrythng tht u wrote but i dont also have to.
Nicely written though.. random thoughts .. but still well-expressed.
Will become a regular reader of urs now =)

Ecodrive Says:
June 1, 2008 at 5:42 PM

perfect write up..this one is better than ur last post..i gotta phobia of creepy creatures..bugs or nasty frogs..

but i dont think it affects me or my perfection..

nice thoughts..keep blogging..

Dark_Gal Says:
June 1, 2008 at 6:29 PM

@ full blood prince
Thanx for finally visiting my page!
Was wondering whether you'd ever do it!!
Anyways, thanx! About agreeing with things, you are right, you don't have to!!!
Thanx! Keep reading and keep blogging!!

@ eco drive
yeah most of the guys have a phobis of creepy crawlies. I don't really have it!!!
And yes, my phobia or obsession hasx nothing got to do with perfection...
it was just a sequence of thoughts which made me write it!!!
Anyways, thanx!
keep blogging and reading!!!

manorath Says:
June 1, 2008 at 7:28 PM

this obsession.. i thought i was the one with weird obsessions.. symmetry, repeated atempts for better results, updating things are one of them.. and perfectionism.. i think am of the second type though i feel perfectionism is a negative trait.. and am phobic to crowds..

my first visit to ur page.. nice blog and a cool template...

Sushant Says:
June 3, 2008 at 11:20 AM

Obsession for me is energized state of mind. It should be directed to achieve the things we want. If it stays too long with us it may be harmful but I guess sometimes we can not control the urge.

Tina Says:
June 3, 2008 at 4:23 PM

Obsession...i have too many of them...to begin with m obsessed with shoes..i keep buyin them left right n center..n m nt talkin abt these designr brands :P
Am also obssessed with collecting small stuffs like key chains and pics collection....

And phobia....Insects...they freak me out.....

Loved ur post...my first tym here and it was refreshin reading thru it wile at work



Gaf Says:
June 4, 2008 at 4:38 PM

nice post..i too have many phobias

Gagan Says:
June 5, 2008 at 7:42 PM

very nice !!!

arjun Says:
June 8, 2008 at 11:57 AM

Ur 'piled up thoughts' really made sense... It would encourage the deppressed..
"Where you don't get the better of the two worlds, make your world the best one!"
i liked this.....
Keep Writing..


funnybunny Says:
June 8, 2008 at 12:35 PM

You've written wonderfully about a lot of stuff and sadly I disagree with many aspects. I am a guy from science, math and programming too, amongst the best institutes for undergrad in INDIA if that credits what I am gonna say :P but well...so I really think beauty lies in imperfection. You are one of those persons I would love to chat with all day because you relate to patterns well and you have such different outlook on life. I loved the card thingy, although I would go a step further and count cards too :P
sorry about the huge post.

Rohan Nigam Says:
June 8, 2008 at 12:52 PM

"Your first duty is to yourself. You do not perform for the world, you perform for an audience of one- YOURSELF!!!"

I like the sound of it...
If people accept this one fact then there will be less problems in their life.

Dark_Gal Says:
June 8, 2008 at 7:29 PM

@ manorath
hey, thanks! many thanks!!
Well, agree with you, I too don't like much of perfectionism.. that's the reason why am of the second type!

@ sushant
yeah many a times, it's difficult to control the urge and that's why term it as OBSESSION!!!

@ tina
Great obsession about footwear!!!
Heard it like the first time!!
thanks for writing in!
keep reading!

@ gaf, gagan
Thanks guys!

@ arjun
I love 'strong' writing!!!
Motivating enough right?? :P

@ funnybunny
First of all thanks!!! Thanks for writing in.
True, beauty lies in imperfection, but just not always!
Haven't you ever marveled at solutions to problems in maths which have symmetry in them? I have!!!
And yeah, you don't really have to agree or disagree with all I've written!!!
If nothing more, they are my views! Kinda arbitrary! Something what I relate to and 'use' in my life!!!
But yeah, I surely would like to chat up with you!!!
Would be interesting enough!!!

@ rohan nigam

Well, yeah, there would be less number of problems!
But not many implement thingies like what I've written!!
After all, it's a realistic world, external influences are more than the state of the mind! ( most of the times!)